As I wander over to the team boats at the end of the weekend, I can’t help but smile as I pass the docks in the lake where Jack’s high school J8 boat all jumped in the water three years ago, the distinctive celebratory rite of the gold medal national champions at the High School Scholastic Nationals, SRAAs. A bittersweet memory as I admire the sun bouncing off the glistening gorgeous Melton Lake in Oakridge TN and reminisce about all of the fun times with our St Ignatius rowing family. His senior year, his 1V boat would earn a silver at SRAAs, the best finish in their program history. As I am startled by the sudden jab on my shoulder by someone behind me carrying a giant UCLA tent, I quickly snap back into the present, at the ACRA National Championship. Although the club collegiate scene of today has displaced our old high school competitors: New Trier, St. Alban’s, Belen Jesuit, and Saratoga, have given way to Purdue, UVA, Bucknell, and Michigan, the emotions and reflections from a rowing Mama heart remain consistent each year. After five consecutive years of both high school and college rowing nationals, I can say we have experienced all the highs, lows, and everything in between. Yet every year I leave the weekend with the same feeling: shock and awe at the grit and resilience these young athletes demonstrate to do it all again next year! For 365 straight days they devote blood, sweat, and tears in their pursuit of this one 6-minute race.
Jack’s 1V boat this year had a coxwain and three upper class rowers who achieved the historic gold medal at 2024 ACRA two years ago. Their 1V took bronze last year at 2025 ACRA. With approximately thirty collegiate teams in the 1V category, these were incredible achievements. This year, the seniors wanted so badly to go out on top, and the younger guys wanted it so badly FOR the seniors in equal measure. Unfortunately three of the rowers struggled with sickness/upper respiratory infection in the week leading up to the race. Antibiotics and inhalers could only do so much for the coughing and hacking that could be heard for miles. Although they were favored to possibly medal again this year, they ended up in a stacked semi and took 3rd place after UCLA by .2 seconds. They achieved the third fastest time across all of the semi races. However, only the top two from each semi would earn a spot in the Grand Final so they landed in the B Final. Our ND crew family crowded the shore with “Let’s Go Irish” cheers and they ended up with first place in the B final with an impressive open water finish. Of course as parents, we were beyond proud of their performance, but it was certainly not the result they pursued. An air of disappointment prevailed. Meanwhile, our 2V killed it with not only making the Grand Final, but winning a bronze medal! I overheard Coach Sean earlier saying, "They have been working so hard the last few weeks. We shuffled some things around and they have been really clicking." We were so excited for their amazing finish, and their gigantic smiles during the medal ceremony were so heartwarming.
Any sports Mama can relate to the ache you feel deep in your heart when things don’t go your athlete’s way. In the aftermath, they often just need a hug and some space to breathe and process their result, but you would give anything to take the heartache away. The right words in the right moment are often hard to come by. I have concluded this heavy heart feeling is simply the price Mamas pay for all the intangible gifts of athletics. Whether it’s rowing, soccer, swimming, lacrosse, or any other sport, if you’ve been at it long enough you will inevitably face as much heartache as triumph. You can only hope our young athletes learn to get back up, grow from the lessons, carry on, and continue to support and encourage their teammates in the face of heartbreak. You can only hope they let themselves 'marinate' in the pain long enough to motivate them for next season but not too long to cripple their optimism and fighting spirit. Coach Marcus Freeman told his football players to feel the pain, carry it with them, and then use of for good. Perhaps this team can join Freeman’s team in their ‘26-‘27 ‘Revenge Tour’ 🤣. As Freeman states, “There is no reward without pain. Pain from failure is there to help you grow. Sometimes those bloody wounds, those tough times that happen in your life, end up making you better and putting you in a better situation.” I was proud to witness the 1V rowers expressing pure joy and excitement for the 2V boat as they earned a bronze medal in their Grand Final this year, despite the 1V disappointment from their own race. This is true leadership and stewardship, so critical to any successful team culture.
Rowing is certainly not for the faint of heart. The sport requires a superhuman level of time and dedication: 25-30 hours per week of training, wee early morning hours, two-a-days, months of erg and strength training during the dreary winter months, missed fall and spring breaks for training camps. Rowing in the bitter cold, sleeting rain, the blisters, the sickness, the exhaustion, the pain, all while juggling in many cases double majors, studying for the MCATs, architecture students pulling all nighters, the list goes on. And these club rowers do all of this for the LOVE of the GAME. There are no scholarships, trainers, physical therapists, nutritionists, mental health counselors, funding by the school athletic department. The athletes run the show, coordinate travel for regattas, fundraise, and serve as their own masters of destiny.
Even greater a sacrifice, the seniors among several college teams who participate at ACRA have to miss their graduation ceremonies since the weekends have conflicted in recent years. Our good friends challenged our resignation of this unfortunate reality. “How could you let your kid miss graduation for a rowing competition? What if the results don’t go your way? How could you live with that decision?” Since Jack has chosen to row in college, I have pondered this question often. It can be hard for anyone unfamiliar with the sport of rowing to understand, but this ACRA event is the culmination of months of training in pursuit of a championship with their beloved teammates they consider family. They wouldn’t miss it for the world. Yet, as alumni ND team Mom Ansley Dauenhauer wrote in her beautiful reflection after 2024 ACRA, “Lord, they’ve worked so hard. But so has everyone else at this regatta. Please, give them the wisdom to be proud of themselves, to know what they have accomplished, no matter what the result is.” Indeed, the competition is fierce. Thirty teams, many with greater infrastructure, with a larger number of coaches and athletes. And if you don’t win, was it worth it? Are the lessons learned, the strength and resilience built, the community bonded merely a function of winning or losing? After witnessing both heartbreaking and victorious results, I have learned that it is unquestionably THROUGHOUT the PURSUIT of greatness, (not the outcome) which yields the greatest gifts of sport. It’s WHO you BECOME in the process. The outcome does not dictate everything you have gained. The joy in victory or agony in defeat is temporary. The character you have developed and relationships/community gained will last forever. As Mr. Slanka, a local ND class of '68 alum and team supporter reflected, “The education these rowers are receiving about LIFE in general and lessons they can take forth are far greater than anything they would ordinarily experience in college.”
Since the seniors miss out on their graduation ceremony back in South Bend, the team enjoys the sweetest tradition of a team dinner, often generously sponsored by the Slankas, a local ND class of ‘68 alumni family. All the rowers and their families gather for dinner and the underclass athletes give tribute speeches about each graduating senior. Each year I am humbled and inspired by the incredibly bright, articulate, thoughtful, heartwarming, and often hilarious speeches by BOTH the underclass athletes and (in response) the seniors. They rave about the seniors' leadership, charisma, sacrifices, encouragement, guidance, pep talks, holding everyone accountable in pursuit of greatness. Attributes such as hard-work, dedication, humility, tenacity, and selflessness are repeated again and again. Tears flow, laughter and memories are shared.
I had the opportunity to chat with an alumni rower who is currently assistant-coaching for another college team in his hometown of Boston. I asked him, was it all worth it? He stated without question it was the absolute best experience of his ND years with the best of friends, “I would have done it all over again in a heartbeat.” I always say, rowing is a microcosm for life and a true meritocracy. You get out what you put in. It prepares you for so much of what we experience and endure in life. As I wandered past the glistening lake toting our cooler (which held six cases of water throughout the day!) to our car as we packed up to travel home, I felt at peace with gratitude that Jack has had the opportunity to join this wonderful ND rowing team community.
As Teddy Roosevelt declared, “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory or defeat.” I think Mr, Roosevelt would be quite proud of this team.
