2013 New Year, New Resolution

Exercise more.

Eat a cleaner diet.
Go to bed earlier.
Volunteer more.
Spend less.
Save more money.
Be on time.
Get organized.
Purge more often.
Be present.

Do these sound familiar? The tried and true sincere (if not long-lasting) attempts for self improvement at the beginning of a new year.  Otherwise known as the requisite New Year's Resolution.  Some of us make them and keep them.  More of us do NOT.  But, if there is anything worth while in the coming year for me to attempt for self-improvement, I have decided, it is to UN-PLUG, DE-DEVICE, however you want to call it.... (ironic, right, as I sit at my computer, writing).

We use our devices to call, to text, to email, to check FB, to check the weather, to check the news, to confirm carpools, babysitters, and dinner dates.  We use our devices to keep calendars, to take pictures or videos, to play games, to play music.  We use our devices to DO so much throughout the day, yet are we focusing our time and attention to the wrong types of connections?  While these devices may seem to keep us more on track, more connected, more organized, and engaged with the greater world around us....I am convinced they are DIS-connecting us to our more important, inner world.  This inner world surrounds our relationships with our spouses, children, closest friends, and family.

Admittedly, I am guilty of reaching for my iPhone to read a NYT article, when I could be reading more to my children.  I have grabbed it to check email when I could be listening more closely to my husband.  I have scrolled through Facebook instead of playing a game with my little ones.  Do I spend all day on my device? Absolutely not, but there are snippets of time throughout the day that involve a legitimate text with a carpool parent, for example, that leads to a check for a breaking news story or FB post.  I have concluded that the aggregate of these snippets of time add up to a significant erosion of quality family time.  Sure, they provide mini-'escapes' from the menial/tedious tasks of keeping house, raising kids.  But, before we know it, these fighting, melting down, driving-Mommy-crazy-at-times, little ones will soon be grown and living in a far-away city, and we will be wishing we had cherished every moment with them even more.

Meanwhile, as parents, we recognize the frustration and concern for our children having too much "screen time"...from the most basic of TV watching, to the video games, to the texting and emailing as they get older.  We have read that too much screen time can lead to ADD issues, concentration/behavioral problems.  It seems obvious that we are setting our children up for failure since the low-sensorial processes of reading, writing, and math, the pillars of education, cannot possibly compete with the bells-and-whistles-stimulation these devices provide.  I often hear adults ask, "Why can't children go outside and play more like we did when we were kids?"  Yet, frankly, are they not just mimicking what they see us doing throughout our days? Device, device, device, and more device-ing.

For this reason alone, I long ago stopped (for the most part) using my iPad in front of them, simply because I was tired of them constantly asking to play on it.  Similarly, I have decided to take on the challenge of de-devicing altogether.  When we are at home, I am literally checking my device at the door (charging stand in our mudroom).  My apologies, Steve Jobs, you are not welcome in other rooms of the house.

I am certain, this perspective could be perceived as anti-Jetson, anti-technology, anti-American, even.  To be clear, I am not suggesting a total rejection of our technological luxuries....Rather, I am simply advocating an everything-in-moderation approach to our devices.  Ok, ok, easier said than done.  I know it will be a challenge for me to resist the urge for more information, more news, more interesting articles to read.

So, in the coming new year, I hope the exile of all the little snippets of 'screen-time', will make more room for...

More reflection

More thinking

More listening

More reading
More writing
More drawing
More coloring
More painting
More photography
More running
More stretching
More swimming
More sledding
More skating
More sea-glass hunting
More bike riding
More rollerblading
More pilates
More pillow-fights
More fireplace snuggling
More discussing
More philosophizing
More music
More dance parties
More board games
More chess games
More card games
More patience
More grace
More serenity
More prayer
More calm
More sanity



Less device time, more family time.  Less device time, more-food-for-the-soul time.  Simply stated, but will it be easy to keep to this resolution?  Probably not, but it is worth a try.

Sensory Bliss

A friend, Anne Carmack, recently posted an interesting article, "On Reading and the Web" from The Blog of Innocence (link provided below). With regard to the sensorial experience, it discusses the contrast between reading and writing electronically versus the old fashioned 'print' format.

Shortly after reading this article, I traveled to Captiva Island, Florida with my family.  As a side note, now that my kids are a BIT older, (ages 2, 4, and 5), it was the first vacation since we have had kids in which I had the opportunity to just lay on the beach for more than two minutes and soak up the surroundings.  It was complete sensory bliss.  From the salty smell in the air (which by the way, is always the first thing I notice when I travel to Florida) that seems to relax me immediately, to the rhythmic sound of the crashing waves, to the warm winds blowing softly on my skin, to the cool enveloping sand quickly burying my fingers and toes.  In every single way, the beach surroundings provide complete sensory relaxation. Ah, how I have missed this experience!

This setting reminded me of the attached article. I fully recognize that although e-reading has become very convenient, economical, and efficient, somehow the experience of reading cannot be matched, as compared to the print format.  Growing up, I much preferred to spend my time in the pool, on the skating rink, or exploring the woods in my backyard as opposed to leisure reading.  It always seemed there was enough homework that required reading, why spend extraneous time forging through another arbitrary book? But as an adult, I have discovered a new love for reading. It challenges me to think about historical fiction settings.  It inspires me to try new things.  It enlightens me with strategies for how to better cope with these crazy toddler years.  It transports me into another fascinating/intriguing world with fascinating/intriguing characters.  It helps me to put aside my daily concerns.  It helps me to relax.  It helps me to fall asleep.  And, although I can (and have) enjoyed all of these things via reading on my iPad, somehow I still go back to the printed text.  There is something inherently satisfying about picking up a book, flipping to the current page, smelling its freshness, feeling the contrast between the glossy cover and soft cotton-like pages. Perhaps after my brief beach experience, I am simply seeking a little bit of sensory bliss.

Link is as follows...

"On Reading and the Web"

Put it (the gadget) down...

With the start of a new year, I have decided to make an effort to 'put it down' more often so I can be ever-present for the people in my life I care about most: my family. I am referring to the average Amerian's endless stream of gadgets: the smart phone, ipad, itouch, ipod, laptop, etc.  Although these gadgets successfully allow us to connect more frequently and efficiently with the 'outside world', I fear our 'inside worlds' are bearing the costs.

Of course, I enjoy my gadgets as much as the next gadget-er.  I love reconnecting with old friends from past schools, distant cities, or previous lives as well as new ones. It is certainly fun to keep in touch through the sending and receiving of birthday messages, the sharing and commenting on family photos of our "fellow-mom-and-newborn-playdate" friends from prior cities, and sharing links to relevant articles, blogs, etc., with current neighbors and friends.  My son, Jack, and I had so much fun Skyping with his best friend from school who recently moved to Switzerland with his family. This would not even be feasible prior to such genius technology.  Similarly, I relish the convenience of reading NYTimes.com articles on my ipad while waiting in the carpool line, to pick up my children from school. The fact that I can do these things and MORE from my Blackberry, plus texting, (yes, I have YET to convert to the iconic iphone)....is all the more convenient, efficient and entertaining in terms of connecting with others, collecting info (my favorite, being an information junkie) and communicating with again, the "outside world".

However, I am beginning to feel a tension rising between my constant magnetic pull to these devices and the constant need for attention, love, company, and "being present" by my loved ones, my "inside world".  My husband I are constantly harassing one another for being attached to our Blackberries...so we have recently made a pact to "put it down" more often, particularly in the presence of one another.  As much as these devices are essential for bare necessity communications (i.e. a "your-kid-is-sick" call from school, last-minute carpool changes, meeting times/places with your spouse, etc.), I am finding the majority of time spent on these gadgets simply distract me from more important, soul-enriching activities.  In addition to my focus and attention to my family, I found that by "putting it down" more often, I could spend time on more relaxing activities.  For example, I gave up bringing the Blackberry to bed for Lent last year. I am such an information-addict, that I used to lay in bed reading every story I could find from various news outlets. Once I gave this up, I discovered that novel reading is far more sleep-conducive than flipping through random current event articles (many of which are anxiety-producing, I might add).

I have concluded these gadgets are to adults as the TV/video games are to our children. Their cost/benefit ratio is becoming top-heavy. Of course our children are entranced by the lights-camera-action of the large plasma screen...but is it becoming too frequent to the point where the basic reading, writing, creative/analytical thinking, problem-solving, activities REQUIRED for their essential education cannot compete with such stimulation?  For this reason, we try to limit screen time for our children - but of course this is challenging, as any parent can attest.  Similarly, these gadgets for adults provide greater connectivity, efficient communication, entertainment, but are they providing so much escape and 'stimulus' that they interfere with our connections with our spouses, children, and prevent more soul-enriching activities such as reading, writing, painting, creative-anything, or just plain meditating? I cannot imagine a Buddhist monastery where they encourage followers to just focus on their ipads.....how absurd!? But we all know Buddhism conjures images of mindfulness, meditation, wisdom, and peacefulness. Are these concepts at odds with our gadgets?

On a larger scale, I fear that our society at large will begin to suffer from less-connected marriages, families, communities, if we fail to monitor and moderate the time spent with our beloved, but too-often-soul-zapping-gadgets.

Of course, I am not proposing a complete gadget-elimination. I am simply declaring that I, personally, would like to limit their use to fewer-and-far-between moments throughout my day. I recently started blogging as a way to document all things creative in my life. I am happy to say that at least this creative activity is NOT done from any of the aforementioned gadgets!!


In light of this topic, I wanted to attach a recent NYT article I enjoyed by Pico Iyer, titled "The Joy of Quiet." Please click below to read the full article.


http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/01/opinion/sunday/the-joy-of-quiet.html?_r=1