Looking back on this spring, I find it interesting to reflect on different moments of emotional reactions to things missed due to the Coronavirus quarantine. Our entire country has missed out on so much: the final 10-12 weeks of normal schooling, business conferences/events, LIVE religious celebrations, TRAVEL, NBA/NHL/opening day for MLB, NCAA March madness!, youth sports, spring baseball, little league, soccer, track, dance, band, scouts, birthday parties, so many events that just came to a screeching halt in that Jarring Week back March.
I’ve read many articles about how this time away from youth sports is really an eye opener, an opportunity for a 2nd look at the whole system and gauging what aspects we really want to return to when it’s over (i.e. all the messaging from Changing the Game Project, I Love to Watch You Play, etc, in case you follow any of these, you know what I’m taking about). For those of you who might know me well, you know that I don’t cry easily, as my childhood friends used to tease me about. Throughout this quarantine, there have been many opportunities for shedding a tear in my beer: acknowledging missed school, sports, and extracurricular activities for our 4th, 6th, and 8th graders including normal, in-person school days, spring soccer tournaments, school talent show, middle school trip to Williamsburg, middle school play, our 8th grader’s graduation, annual TDC dance show, band concert, piano recital, the list goes on. Granted, we don’t have high school or college seniors, (for whom I truly feel heartache) but still their little lives and activities still feel big and important! So, at the risk of sounding insensitive, I’m embarrassed to admit that I only shed a tear once, and the moment was certainly unexpected! One mid-May evening, I was pulling into our garage, and as I realized that my 8th grader’s travel (community) soccer career was over, tears began to flow.
As many kids sometimes do in the sport of soccer, he plays on both a travel (community) team and club (more competitive) team. Of course as Changing the Game Project often points out, there are a million pros/cons and talking points around this strange reality in itself, but that is for another time and discussion. But the fact that his less competitive, community based soccer experience coming to an end SHOOK me, made me realize how important community-based sports programs are for our youth. Make no mistake, he enjoys his club team and with the option to continue through high school, there was no need for this soccer mama to shed tears over the loss of so many days spent waterlogged-on-the-sidelines during tournaments and games. But it really made me give a second thought to the reasons WHY I was suddenly so sentimental about the end of this community experience. My thoughts relate to soccer specifically, but I would imagine the same holds true for many other youth sports. With the drastically different landscape across youth sports now, compared to when we grew up in the 80s, 90s, this is WHY we will miss...
1-Community based gives kids the opportunity to much more easily connect SOCIALLY since teammates are living nearby, which strengthens team bonds and enjoyment for playing with local friends. For young kids, I have really come to recognize something I certainly took for granted growing up...the social aspects of sports. Kids are social creatures by nature, and are 10x more likely to enjoy something if their friends are playing too.
2-Community based is more AFFORDABLE for all, so you do not have this dynamic of only the most privileged participating. It has always bothered me to wander the parking lots of these soccer tourneys and witness row after row of fancy cars, illustrating this inequality.
3-Community based let’s the kids play FOR THE LOVE of the game. Pressure to win is way less, so the kids genuinely get to play without fear of underperforming, which is a vacuum for positive growth and development. AND FUN!
4-Community based allows kids to play seasonally, and achieve the holy grail of today’s sports culture: MULTI-SPORTS. And that’s another topic deserving of its own encyclopedia.
5-Community based generally means less travel, which although I personally don’t mind as much, gives my husband a great deal of distress for lost family time. Let’s be real here. We have had MORE FAMILY DINNERS as a result of the quarantine in the last 10 weeks than we’ve probably had in the last 10 years.
6-Community based is NOT A BUSINESS. And we all know that youth club sports owners (despite their best intentions) often have to make decisions that are not necessarily in line with the best interests of youth players and their development. This is not their fault, but merely a conflict of interests of these opposing dynamics.
7-Comminity based STRENGTHENS communities in many ways, integrating local families and neighborhoods, opportunities for local support and camaraderie, fostering home-town pride, etc. We were reminded of this during the quarantine as well, as we were encouraged to support our local restaurants and businesses who have been generous supporters of youth sports through sponsorship of little league, hosting team fundraisers, etc.
8-Community based though not always ‘professional’ coaches, (but thankfully in our experience still high quality), the coaches are often team parents, so the overall vibe between coaches and parents is open and FRIENDLY.
9- Comminity based is a THROWBACK to our OWN POSITIVE YOUTH sporting experience. Growing up in the 80s or 90s, tossing other sports aside to play ‘club’ or a higher level was far less common and generally happened at a later age, fostering the benefits of #4 above.
10-Community based allows kids to DEVELOP at their own rate. We have all heard countless tales of the fallacies and dangers of over-identification and valuation of talent at a young age (I.e. the parent or coach who defines their self worth based on their kids’ U10 Or U12 state championships). If you watched the Last Dance, you know Scottie Pippen was an equipment manager as a college freshman, before he got the chance to step in as a reserve player and eventually play in college. We have heard countless stories such as these, the late bloomer athlete who goes on to achieve great things.
Yet, having said all of this, by the time you are my son’s age of thirteen, (and some will argue far earlier) I’m sure most soccer families recognize that you are more likely to grow and develop at a higher level if you play club. This is a blanket generalization and one true for many sports, and of course there are exceptions to this rule. But, typically it’s the reality for youth soccer. Indeed, we absolutely value and appreciate A LOT about his experience with club soccer thus far. He has learned so much and had exceptional technical training, strategy/positional/game development, life lessons, etc. He has had phenomenal coaches and teammates who have taught him so much both on and off the field. He has learned so much about how NOT to behave from the crazy parents and players screaming at the 17-yr old refs. And last but not least, the wonderful families and friends we have all made along the way. So, this is not a slight against the club experience per se, as he would not have developed as much without it. Just a reflection on some of the true VALUES of community based programs for youth sports. So, the bigger question is, how to blend the benefits of both models? Particularly if your kid falls in love with a certain sport and wants to pursue it...Is it even feasible? I certainly don’t have the answers. To me, this is the essence of the problem of youth sports today, and the reason so many organizations like Changing the Game Project exists. I am curious, how many of you have reflected back while missing out on spring sports and what insights do you have? What do you miss most? What do you value the most?
This reminds me of the post I wrote last spring What Is the End Game of Youth Sports?
One final note, as I was exchanging messages w our community soccer coach about summer practice schedules today, I received the following message from his coach from the last few years, which ultimately brought me to tears, yet again! We are so very thankful for being a part of our Rocky River travel soccer program, and we will forever cherish all of the lessons, development, and memories we have enjoyed for the last eight years!.
“Claire, thanks for the heads up. Have fun in HHI. Love it there. I am so excited for Jack and his next adventure at IG. I wish him nothing but the best. I am so lucky I got the opportunity to coach him. He is a fine young man. We will miss him. Have a wonderful summer.”
